Friday, October 23, 2009

Crazy Kids

My mother has a load of stories about my youngest brother with some really off the wall "stunts."

When my brother was learning to walk he did the strangest bear crawl with both hands and feet on the floor as well as his HEAD! And it left a lovely rug burn on his forehead that caused strangers to ask about his accident - no accident, just a dumb crawling position. He had a respiratory problem since birth requiring that mom to be vigilant about keeping his airways clear. One night she was cleaning out his nose and started pulling out goopy green gunk, thicker than anything she had ever seen before. She took him to the doctor the next day who was also stumped by the strange substance coming out of the child's nose. It turns out that my brother had dismantled a green sponge and shoved it's bits and pieces up his nose! He was the one as a teenager who thought it would be fun to ride his bicycle off a store loading dock... and breaking his arm in the process.

Likewise, my youngest son carries a unique resume. He has been caught holding a wiffle ball bat in proper form in front of the Christmas Tree. He stood in front of my lit three wick candle, singing Happy Birthday... of course he blew out the flames. One day while on the phone with a friend, Ian was investigating the new entertainment center and managed to get his body stuck inside one of the cabinets. He has dropped pennies into a fax machine and cottonballs in a VCR.

One Christmas I was standing in the basement, jolted by a crashing sound sending me flying up the stairs to find the two older children standing on the couch, flatted against the wall with eyes wide as saucers. On the floor in front of them was the Christmas Tree splattered on the ground and two little feet decked out in TellyTubby slippers sticking out like the Wicked Witch under Dorothy's house. None of the children have ever been able to explain exactly how the tree came to land on top of Ian. A couple ornaments were lost in the great Christmas Tree crash, as well as the tree stand. After sweeping up the mess, we left the decorated tree in the prone position until we were able to package it all up the next day. My youngest, not daunted by a killer tree, was later found at the base of the tree, turning the broken stand as if it were a steering wheel. *sigh*

There has to be something about youngest children, or is it youngest sons, that manage the most off-the-wall stunts. I mean if it were the first child doing these things, she would be an only child, right?

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